-phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
-you know stuff about tanks.
-a five day vacation requires only one suitcase.
-you can open all your own jars.
-you can go to the bathroom without a support group.
-you don't have to learn to spell a new last name.
-you can leave the motel bed unmade.
-you can kill your own food.
-you get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
-wedding plans take care of themselves.
-if someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be
your friend.
-if you are 34 and single, nobody notices.
-everything on your face stays in its original color.
-you can enjoy a car ride from the passenger seat.
-three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
-you don't have to clean the apartment if the meter reader is coming.
-car mechanics tell you the truth.
-you can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without every
thinking, "He must be mad at me".
-gray hair and wrinkles only add character.
-wedding dress - $2000.00 Tuxedo - 75 bucks.
-you don't mooch off other's desserts.
-you can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little gift.
-if another guy shows up at a party in the same outfit, you just might
become lifelong friends.
-your pals can be trusted never to trap you with, "So, notice anything
different?"
-you are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.
-you don't have to stop and think which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
-you almost never have strap problems in public.
-you are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
-the same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
-you don't have to shave below your neck.
-at least a few belches are expected and tolerated.
-your belly usually hides your big hips.
-one wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.
-you can "do" your nails with a pocketknife.
-you have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache.
-Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives on December
24th in 45 minutes.
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