Just Give It Some Thought

Where Would You Be ...

Where would you be if:

1) You have all the money your heart desires ...

2) You have no worries ...

3) You come home and the finest meal is awaiting you ...

4) Your bathwater has been run ...

5) You have the perfect kids ...

6) Your partner is awaiting you with open arms and kisses ...

So where would you be? In the wrong fucking house ...

100% accurate personality test

This has to be the best personality test. It is 100% guaranteed to be 100% accurate.
You must follow the rules on this one exactly, otherwise it won't work. It's really scary how this works out. NO CHEATING!!!!

First, get a pen and paper.

Second, write the numbers one through six.

Next to number one, write any number...

Next to number two, write the name of anyone to which you are really attracted.

Next to three, write down the first color you can think of.

Next to number four, write the name of your first pet.

Next to number five and six write down the name of a family member.

Remember...no cheating.....

Keep scrolling down........


Don't cheat, or you'll be upset.......

here are the answers....



The number next to number one shows how many times you should be smashed over the head with a baseball bat for thinking that stupid e-mails like this actually means anything....

The person named next to number two is someone who will never sleep with you because you're stupid enough to waste your time on something like this....

The color you picked means nothing. It's a friggin' color for goodness sake...

Number four gives you the name of a dead animal....

Numbers five and six represent family members who are embarrassed to be related to you.....

TELETUBBIE PERSONALITY TEST

The following test was developed by a combination of top U.S. and European psychologists. The results are extremely accurate in describing your personality with one simple question.

Which is your favorite Teletubbie:

A. Yellow

B. Purple

C. Green

D. Red

DECIDE BEFORE SCROLLING DOWN

Profile for women...

A. If you chose the Yellow Teletubbie. You are bubbly and cheerful. People come to you when troubled because you always make them feel better about themselves. You are apt to clash with Red Teletubbie people.

B. If you chose the Purple Teletubbie. You are active and erratic. You have many ideas and set high standards for yourselves and others. Stay away from Green Teletubbie people, they tend to bring you down.

C. If you chose the Green Teletubbie. You are calm and reliable. Family plays a major role in your life and you often sacrifice your needs to please others. Yellow Teletubbie people are a good match for you.

D.If you chose the Red Teletubbie. You are bold and emotional. You are fierce in your opinions and quick to anger, but stick by your friends through thick and thin. Purple and Red Teletubbie people are an explosive combination.

Profile for men.............

A. If you chose the Yellow Teletubbie. You are gay.

B. If you chose the Purple Teletubbie. You are gay.

C. If you chose the Green Teletubbie. You are gay.

D. If you chose the Red Teletubbie. You are gay.

Are You a Guy?

Take This Scientific Quiz to Determine Your Guyness Quotient

1. Alien beings from a highly advanced society visit the Earth, and you are the first human they encounter. As a token of intergalactic friendship, they present you with a small but incredibly sophisticated device that is capable of curing all disease, providing an infinite supply of clean energy, wiping out hunger and poverty, and permanently eliminating oppression and violence all over the entire Earth. You decide to:

a. Present it to the president of the United States.

b. Present it to the secretary general of the United Nations.

c. Take it apart.

2. As you grow older, what lost quality of your youthful life do you miss the most?

a. Innocence.

b. Idealism.

c. Cherry bombs.

3. When is it okay to kiss another male?

a. When you wish to display simple and pure affection without regard for narrow-minded social conventions.

b. When he is the pope. (Not on the lips.)

c. When he is your brother and you are Al Pacino and this is the only really sportsmanlike way to let him know that, for business reasons, you have to have him killed.

4. What about hugging another male?

a. If he's your father and at least one of you has a fatal disease.

b. If you're performing the Heimlich maneuver. (And even in this case, you should repeatedly shout: "I am just dislodging food trapped in this male's trachea! I am not in any way aroused!")

c. If you're a professional baseball player and a teammate hits a home run to win the World Series, you may hug him provided that: (1) He is legally within the basepath, (2) Both of you are wearing protective cups, and (3) You also pound him fraternally with your fist hard enough to cause fractures.

5. Complete this sentence: A funeral is a good time to...

a. ...remember the deceased and console his loved ones.

b. ...reflect upon the fleeting transience of earthly life.

c. ...tell the joke about the guy who has Alzheimer's disease and cancer.

6. In your opinion, the ideal pet is:

a. A cat.

b. A dog.

c. A dog that eats cats.

7. You have been seeing a woman for several years. She's attractive and intelligent, and you always enjoy being with her. One leisurely Sunday afternoon the two of you are taking it easy -- you're watching a football game; she's reading the >papers -- when she suddenly, out of the clear blue sky, tells you that she thinks she really loves you, but she can no longer bear the uncertainty of not knowing where your relationship is going. She says she's not asking whether you want to get married; only whether you believe that you have some kind of future together. What do you say?

a. That you sincerely believe the two of you do have a future, but you don't want to rush it.

b. That although you also have strong feelings for her, you cannot honestly say that you'll be ready anytime soon to make a lasting commitment, and you don't want to hurt her by holding out false hope.

c. That you cannot believe the Jets called a draw play on third and seventeen.

8. Okay, so you have decided that you truly love a woman and you want to spend the rest of your life with her -- sharing the joys and the sorrows, the triumphs and the tragedies, and all the adventures and opportunities that the world has to offer, come what may. How do you tell her?

a. You take her to a nice restaurant and tell her after dinner.

b. You take her for a walk on a moonlit beach, and you say her name, and when she turns to you, with the sea breeze blowing her hair and the stars in her eyes, you tell her.

c. Tell her what?

9. One weekday morning your wife wakes up feeling ill and asks you to get your three children ready for school. Your first question to her is:

a. "Do they need to eat or anything?"

b. "They're in school already?"

c. "There are three of them?"

10. When is it okay to throw away a set of veteran underwear?

a. When it has turned the color of a dead whale and developed new holes so large that you're not sure which ones were originally intended for your legs.

b. When it is down to eight loosely connected underwear molecules and has to be handled with tweezers.

c. It is never okay to throw away veteran underwear. A real guy checks the garbage regularly in case somebody -- and we are not naming names, but this would be his wife -- is quietly trying to discard his underwear, which she is frankly jealous of, because the guy seems to have a more intimate relationship with it than with her.

11. What, in your opinion, is the most reasonable explanation for the fact that Moses led the Israelites all over the place for forty years before they finally got to the Promised Land?

a. He was being tested.

b. He wanted them to really appreciate the Promised Land when they finally got there.

c. He refused to ask directions.

12. What is the human race's single greatest achievement?

a. Democracy.

b. Religion.

c. Remote control.

How to Score: Give yourself one point for every time you picked answer "c." A real guy would score at least 10 on this test. In fact, a real guy would score at least 15, because he would get the special five-point bonus for knowing the joke about the guy who has Alzheimer's disease and cancer.

Ethics Quiz

Be honest with yourselves.

A man, Matthew, and a lady, Lauren, who are very much in love, and devoted to one another are separated by a river with no way of getting across to the other side. On Lauren's side of the river, there is a boatman, Bob, who is able to take her over to the other side of the river but refuses to do so unless she pays him a price of $1000, three times his normal fare. Lauren has no money.

Another man, Sam, living on the same side of the river, then tells Lauren that he will give her $2000 if she sleeps with him for one night. Lauren agrees to do so and upon receiving the $2000, pays Bob who takes her over to the other side of the river. She is reunited with Matthew and they are very happy together.

However, Matthew's friend Frank finds out what Lauren did with Sam and immediately tells Matthew. On learning the news, Matthew finds Lauren and ends things with her, stating that he wants nothing more to do with her.

QUESTION

You have read the above story.

Your task is to rank these five people, Matthew, Lauren, Bob, Sam, and Frank, from best person to worst person with 1 being the best and 5 being the worst.

Example:

1. F

2. M

3. L

4. S

5. B

Don't read any further until you've finished ranking 1 through 5. If you do, you'll miss the whole point.

However, you may go back and re-read the story as many times as you wish.

When you do finish ranking, scroll down and read on.

ANALYSIS

~~~~~~~~

The order that you've ranked the five people is supposed to represent the importance that you place on different things in your life, 1 being the most important and 5 being the least.

The characters stand for:

Matthew: Morality

Lauren: Love

Bob: Business

Sam: Sex

Frank: Friends

So what was your order???