A young blonde girl was going on a date.
Her grandmother said, "Sit here and let me tell you about those young boys. He is going to try and kiss you, you are going to like that, but don't let him do that. He is going to try and feel your breast, you are going to like that but don't let him do that. But most important, he is going to try and get on top of you to have his way with you. You are going to like that, but don't let him do that. It will disgrace the family."
With that bit of advice, the granddaughter went on her date.
The next day she told grandma that her date went just like she had predicted.
"Grandma, I didn't let him disgrace the family. When he tried, I just turned over, got on top of him, and disgraced HIS family..."
April 03, 2008
April 02, 2008
What a Woman Likes ...
A study conducted by UCLA's Department of Psychiatry has revealed that the kind of male face a woman finds attractive can differ depending on where she is in her menstrual cycle.
For instance, if she is ovulating she is attracted to men with rugged and masculine features.
However, if she is menstruating, or menopausal, she is more prone to be attracted to a man with scissors lodged in his temple and a bat jammed up his ass while he is on fire.
Further studies are expected.
For instance, if she is ovulating she is attracted to men with rugged and masculine features.
However, if she is menstruating, or menopausal, she is more prone to be attracted to a man with scissors lodged in his temple and a bat jammed up his ass while he is on fire.
Further studies are expected.
Look for the Nail ...
Amy, a blonde city girl, marries a farmer.
One morning, before he goes out to the fields, the farmer says to her, "The artificial insemination man is coming to impregnate one of our cows today. I drove a nail into the two-by-four above the cow's stall. You show him where it is, okay?"
So the farmer leaves for the fields, and a while later, the artificial insemination man arrives.
Amy takes him down the long row of cows until she sees the nail, and tells him, "This is the one. This one right here!"
Terribly impressed, the man asks, "How did you know this is the cow to be bred?"
"By the nail over its stall," Amy explains.
Then the man asks, "What's the nail for?"
"I guess it's to hang your pants on," she tells him as she walks away.
One morning, before he goes out to the fields, the farmer says to her, "The artificial insemination man is coming to impregnate one of our cows today. I drove a nail into the two-by-four above the cow's stall. You show him where it is, okay?"
So the farmer leaves for the fields, and a while later, the artificial insemination man arrives.
Amy takes him down the long row of cows until she sees the nail, and tells him, "This is the one. This one right here!"
Terribly impressed, the man asks, "How did you know this is the cow to be bred?"
"By the nail over its stall," Amy explains.
Then the man asks, "What's the nail for?"
"I guess it's to hang your pants on," she tells him as she walks away.
April 01, 2008
Accept My Wine
A man enters his favorite ritzy restaurant and while sitting at his regular table, he notices a gorgeous woman sitting at a nearby table all alone. He calls the waiter over and asks for their most expensive bottle of Merlot to be sent over to her, knowing that if she accepts it, she is his.
The waiter gets the bottle and quickly sends it over to the woman, saying this is from the gentleman over there.
She looks at the wine and sends a note over to the man. The note reads, "For me to accept this bottle, you need to have a Mercedes in your garage, a million dollars in the bank, and seven inches in your pants."
The man, after reading her note, chuckles, and sends a note of his own back to her, and it reads, "Just so you know, I happen to have a Ferrari Testarosa, a BMW 850 and a Mercedes 600 SL in my garage, and I have over twenty five million dollars in the bank. But, not even for a woman as beautiful as you, would I cut three inches off. Just send the bottle back!"
The waiter gets the bottle and quickly sends it over to the woman, saying this is from the gentleman over there.
She looks at the wine and sends a note over to the man. The note reads, "For me to accept this bottle, you need to have a Mercedes in your garage, a million dollars in the bank, and seven inches in your pants."
The man, after reading her note, chuckles, and sends a note of his own back to her, and it reads, "Just so you know, I happen to have a Ferrari Testarosa, a BMW 850 and a Mercedes 600 SL in my garage, and I have over twenty five million dollars in the bank. But, not even for a woman as beautiful as you, would I cut three inches off. Just send the bottle back!"
Two Blondes on the Bus
Two blondes are waiting on a bus stop, when a bus pulls up and opens the door...
One of the blondes leans inside and asks the driver, "Will this bus take me to 5th Avenue?"
The bus driver shakes his head and says, "No, I'm Sorry."
The other blonde leans inside, smiles and twitters, "Will it take ME?"
One of the blondes leans inside and asks the driver, "Will this bus take me to 5th Avenue?"
The bus driver shakes his head and says, "No, I'm Sorry."
The other blonde leans inside, smiles and twitters, "Will it take ME?"
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