Two women, who had been friends for years, decide to go for a Girls Night Out, and were decidedly over-enthusiastic on the cocktails. Incredibly drunk and walking home, they needed to use the bathroom. They were very near a graveyard and one of them suggested they do their business behind a head stone or something.
The first woman had nothing to dry herself with and decided she'd take off her panties, use them, and then throw them away.
Her friend, however, was wearing a rather expensive underwear set and didn't want to ruin hers, but was lucky to salvage a large ribbon from a wreath that was on one of the graves. So she dried herself with the ribbon.
The next day the first woman's husband phoned the other husband and said, "This girl's night out thing has got to stop right now. My wife came home last night without her panties."
"That's nothing," said the other husband, "Mine came home with a card stuck to her ass that said, "FROM ALL OF US AT THE FIRE STATION, WE'LL NEVER FORGET YOU."
October 04, 2008
Clever Bob ...
Bob, a 70 year old, extremely wealthy widower, shows up at the Country Club with a breathtakingly beautiful and very sexy 25 year-old blonde who knocks everyone's socks off with her youthful sex appeal and charm and who hangs over Bob's arm and listens intently to his every word.
His buddies at the club are all aghast. They corner him and ask, "Bob, how'd you get the trophy girlfriend?"
Bob replies, "Girlfriend? She's my wife!"
His friends are rocked by this news and ask. "So, how'd you persuade her to marry you?"
Bob says, "I lied about my age."
One of his confused friends asked, "What do you mean? Didyou tell her you were only 50?"
Bob smiles and says, "No, I told her I was 90."
His buddies at the club are all aghast. They corner him and ask, "Bob, how'd you get the trophy girlfriend?"
Bob replies, "Girlfriend? She's my wife!"
His friends are rocked by this news and ask. "So, how'd you persuade her to marry you?"
Bob says, "I lied about my age."
One of his confused friends asked, "What do you mean? Didyou tell her you were only 50?"
Bob smiles and says, "No, I told her I was 90."
Slight Misunderstanding
Bobby was fixing a door and he found that he needed a new hinge, so he sent his wife, Ann Marie, to the hardware store.
At the hardware store, Ann Marie saw a beautiful teapot on a top shelf while she was waiting for Joey, the manager, to finish waiting on a customer. When Joey was finished, Ann Marie asked how much for the teapot.
Joey replied, "That's silver and the price is $100."
"My goodness that sure is a lotta money!" Ann Marie exclaimed. Then she described the hinge that Bobby had sent her to buy and Joey went to the back room to find it.
From the back room Joey yelled, "Ann Marie, you wanna screw for that hinge?"
Ann Marie replied, "No, but I will for the teapot."
Moral: You should never send a woman to a hardware store.
At the hardware store, Ann Marie saw a beautiful teapot on a top shelf while she was waiting for Joey, the manager, to finish waiting on a customer. When Joey was finished, Ann Marie asked how much for the teapot.
Joey replied, "That's silver and the price is $100."
"My goodness that sure is a lotta money!" Ann Marie exclaimed. Then she described the hinge that Bobby had sent her to buy and Joey went to the back room to find it.
From the back room Joey yelled, "Ann Marie, you wanna screw for that hinge?"
Ann Marie replied, "No, but I will for the teapot."
Moral: You should never send a woman to a hardware store.
October 03, 2008
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