One reason the Services have trouble operating jointly is that they don't speak the same language.
For example, if you told Navy personnel to "secure a building," they would turn off the lights and lock the doors.
Army personnel would occupy the building so no one could enter.
Marines would assault the building, capture it, and defend it with suppressive fire and close combat.
The Air Force, on the other hand, would take out a three-year lease with an option to buy.
November 09, 2008
Where Would You Be ...
Where would you be if:
1) You have all the money your heart desires ...
2) You have no worries ...
3) You come home and the finest meal is awaiting you ...
4) Your bathwater has been run ...
5) You have the perfect kids ...
6) Your partner is awaiting you with open arms and kisses ...
So where would you be? In the wrong fucking house ...
1) You have all the money your heart desires ...
2) You have no worries ...
3) You come home and the finest meal is awaiting you ...
4) Your bathwater has been run ...
5) You have the perfect kids ...
6) Your partner is awaiting you with open arms and kisses ...
So where would you be? In the wrong fucking house ...
How Do You ...
How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F-word?
Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell, “BINGO!”
Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell, “BINGO!”
Fast Thinking Pays Off
Last night, my blonde friends and I went to a Ladies Night Club.
One of the girls wanted to impress the rest of us, so she pulled out a $10 bill. When the male dancer came over to us, my friend licked the bill and stuck it to his butt cheek!
Not to be outdone, another friend pulls out a $20 bill. She called the guy back, licks the bill, and sticks it to his other butt cheek.
In another attempt to impress the rest of us, my third friend pulls out a $50 bill and calls the guy over, and licks the bill. I'm worried about the way things are going, but fortunately, she just stuck it to one of his butt cheeks again.
My relief was short-lived. Seeing the way things are going, the guy races over to me! Now everyone's attention is focused on me.
My brain was churning as I reached for my wallet. What could I do? The woman in me took over!
I got out my ATM card, swiped it down the crack of his butt, grabbed the eighty bucks, and left.
One of the girls wanted to impress the rest of us, so she pulled out a $10 bill. When the male dancer came over to us, my friend licked the bill and stuck it to his butt cheek!
Not to be outdone, another friend pulls out a $20 bill. She called the guy back, licks the bill, and sticks it to his other butt cheek.
In another attempt to impress the rest of us, my third friend pulls out a $50 bill and calls the guy over, and licks the bill. I'm worried about the way things are going, but fortunately, she just stuck it to one of his butt cheeks again.
My relief was short-lived. Seeing the way things are going, the guy races over to me! Now everyone's attention is focused on me.
My brain was churning as I reached for my wallet. What could I do? The woman in me took over!
I got out my ATM card, swiped it down the crack of his butt, grabbed the eighty bucks, and left.
Advice to Parents
Tough Love vs. Spanking -
Most of the American populace thinks it improper to spank children, so I have tried other methods to control my kids when they have one of 'those moments.'
One that I found effective is for me to just take the child for a car ride and talk. Some say it's the vibration from the car, others say it's the time away from any distractions such as TV, Video Games, Computer, IPod, etc.
Either way, my kids usually calm down and stop misbehaving after our car ride together. Eye to eye contact helps a lot too. I've included a photo below of one of my sessions with my son, in case you would like to use the technique.
Most of the American populace thinks it improper to spank children, so I have tried other methods to control my kids when they have one of 'those moments.'
One that I found effective is for me to just take the child for a car ride and talk. Some say it's the vibration from the car, others say it's the time away from any distractions such as TV, Video Games, Computer, IPod, etc.
Either way, my kids usually calm down and stop misbehaving after our car ride together. Eye to eye contact helps a lot too. I've included a photo below of one of my sessions with my son, in case you would like to use the technique.
November 08, 2008
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