Dinner With His Parents

A woman goes to her boyfriend's parents' house for Christmas dinner. This is to be her first time meeting the family and she is very nervous.

They all sit down and begin eating a fine meal. The woman is beginning to feel a little discomfort, thanks to her nervousness and the broccoli casserole being served.

The gas pains are almost making her eyes water. Left with no other choice, she decides to relieve herself a bit and lets out a dainty fart.

It wasn't loud, but everyone at the table heard the poof.

Before she even had a chance to be embarrassed, her boyfriend's father looked over at the dog that had been snoozing under the woman's chair, and said in a rather stern voice, "Skippy!"

The woman thought, 'This is great!' and a big smile came across her face.

A couple of minutes later, she was beginning to feel the pain again. This time she didn't even hesitate. She let a much louder and longer rrrrrip.

The father again looked at the dog and yelled, "Skippy!"

Once again the woman smiled and thought 'Yes!'

A few minutes later the woman had to let another rip. This time she didn't even think about it. She let a fart rip that rivaled a train whistle blowing.

Once again, the father looked at the dog with disgust and yelled, "Skippy, get away from her before she shits on you!"

Quote of the Day

“The world needs to forget about everything else and focus on the Tiger Woods scandal,” said the chairman of Toyota.

Health Notice ...

This is the most serious risk to our nations health since the 1918 flu epidemic.

Gonorrhea Lectim

The Center for Disease Control has issued a warning about a new virulent strain of Sexually Transmitted Disease. The disease is contracted through dangerous and high-risk behavior. The disease is called Gonorrhea Lectim. And pronounced "gonna re-elect ‘em."

Many victims contracted it in 2008, after having been screwed for the past two years. Naturalists and epidemiologists are amazed at how destructive this disease has become since it is easily cured ... by voting out all incumbents!

How Cold Is It?

Nuff Said ...

Important Information

We thought you might want to know how to spot a gay terrorist ...







His name is:
"YOMAMA BIN SHOPPIN"

Speaking German

Near Fredericksburg, Texas, where there is a large German-speaking population, a farmer walking down a country road notices a man drinking from his pond with his hands.

The farmer shouted, "Trink das wasser nicht. Die kuhen haben dahin gesheissen." (Which means ... Don't drink the water, the cows have shit in it.)

The man shouted back, "I'm from New York and just down here campaigning for Obama's health care plan. I can't understand you. Please speak in English."

The farmer replied, "Use two hands, you'll get more."