Christmas Facts

According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year.  Male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late November to mid-December. Female reindeer retain their antlers till after they give birth in the spring.

Therefore, according to EVERY historical rendition depicting Santa's reindeer, EVERY single one of them from Rudolph to Blitzen, had to be a girl.

Guess we should've known. ONLY women would be able to drag a fat-ass man in a red velvet suit all around the world in one night and not get lost.

Ain't it funny...

At the Bar...

Meanwhile in Washington DC

Nancy Pelosi, Diane Feinstein, and Alexandria Ocasio Cortez go into a bar.

Nancy tells the barkeeper, "I'll have a B and C."

Alexandria whispers, "What's a B and C?"

"That's a bourbon and Coke," Pelosi answers.

Then Feinstein orders, "I'll have a G and T."

Ocasio Cortez again whispers, "What's a G and T?"

"A gin and tonic," Diane replies. 

Cortez wants to seem like she's one of the guys so she tells the barkeeper, "I'll have a 15." 

Now it's the bartender's turn to ask, "What's a 15?"

Cortez says, "A 7 and 7."

Just Clearing Things Up

Flying High

A businessman in the first class cabin decided to chat up the drop dead, gorgeous flight attendant. 

Businessman:  "What is your name?"

                              Flight Attendant:  "Angela Benz, sir."

Businessman:  "That's a lovely name. Are you any relation to Mercedes Benz?" 

Flight Attendant:  "Yes sir, very close." 

Businessman:  "How close?" 

Flight Attendant:  "Same Price."