Getting a Hairdryer Through Customs

In parochial school students are taught that lying is a sin. However, instructions also advised that using a bit of imagination was OK to express the truth differently without lying. Following is a perfect example of those teachings:

An attractive young woman on a flight from Ireland asked the Priest beside her, "Father, may I ask a favor?''

"Of course child. What may I do for you?”

"Well," she said, "I bought my mother an expensive hair dryer for her birthday. It is unopened, but well over the customs limits and I'm afraid they'll confiscate it. Is there any way you could carry it through customs for me? Hide it under your robes perhaps?''

"I would love to help you, dear, but I must warn you, I will not lie," the Priest advised.

The young woman smiled and said, "With your honest face, Father, no one will question you."

When they got to Customs, she let the priest go first. The official asked, "Father, do you have anything to declare?''

"From the top of my head down to my waist I have nothing to declare."

The official thought this answer strange, so asked, "And what do you have to declare from your waist to the floor?''

"I have a marvelous instrument designed to be used on a woman, but which is, to date, unused."

Roaring with laughter, the official said, "You are too funny, Father. You’re free to go.”

Did Philip Fart?

Observe the photos and you decide ...





Now look back at the Queen's face ...

Change your mind?

Gas Prices ...

That's about right ...

Yup ... Right Again

Strange Old Tool

Do You Know What This Is?








This old tool has been reintroduced in Washington DC by the Obama Administration.
It will be part of the New Health Care Program.

A New Pistol

Ruger is coming out with a new pistol in honor of Obama.

It will be named the “Union Worker.”
It doesn’t work and you can’t fire it.

Is Sex Work?

Here is the "military version" of the old question ... Is Sex Work.

A U.S. Marine Colonel was about to start the morning briefing to his Staff. While waiting for the coffee machine to finish brewing, the colonel decided to pose a question to all assembled.

He explained that his wife had been a bit frisky the night before and he failed to get his usual amount of sound sleep. He posed the question of just how much of sex was "work" and how much of it was "pleasure?"

A Major chimed in with 75-25% in favor of work.

A Captain said it was 50-50%.

A lieutenant responded with 25-75% in favor of pleasure, depending upon his state of inebriation at the time.

There being no consensus, the colonel turned to the PFC who was in charge of making the coffee and asked for HIS opinion?

Without any hesitation the young PFC responded, "Sir, it has to be 100% pleasure."

The colonel was surprised and as you might guess, asked why?

"Well, sir, if there was any work involved, the officers would have me doing it for them."

The room fell silent.