January 29, 2019
January 28, 2019
I'll Bet On It!
Jack, a
handsome man, walked into a sports bar at 9:58 pm. He sat down at the bar
next to Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and stared up at the TV as the 10 o'clock news
came on.
The news
crew was covering a story of a man on a ledge of a large building, preparing to
jump.
Alexandria looked at Jack and said, "Do you think he'll jump?"
Jack said, "You know what, I bet he will."
Alexandria replied,
"Well, I bet he won't."
Jack placed $30 on the bar and said,
"You're on!”
Just as she
placed her money on the bar, the guy did a swan dive off of the building,
falling to his death.
Alexandria was very upset and handed her $30 to Jack, saying,
"Fair's fair... Here's your money."
Jack replied, "I can't take
your money. I saw this earlier on the 5 o'clock news and knew he would jump."
Alexandria
replied, "I did too; but I didn't think he'd do it again." Jack took
the money. AOC went back to work in the U.S. Congress.
January 26, 2019
Attending a Lecture
Ron Marshall, who is 89 years of age, was stopped by the
police around 2 a.m.
The policeman asked the old fellow where he was going at
that time of night.
Ron replied, "I'm on my way to a lecture about
alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body, as well as smoking
and staying out late."
The officer asked, "Really? Who's giving that
lecture at this time of night?"
Ron replied, "That would be my wife."
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