Give Him an A+

Tiger proves that the therapy is working ....




I Will Not Look ...
I Will Not Look ...
I Will Not Look ...

The Thanksgiving Parrot

A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary.

Every word out of the bird's mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity.

John tried and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of to 'clean up' the bird's vocabulary.

Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot.

The parrot yelled back.

John shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even more rude.

John, in desperation, threw up his hand, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer.

For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed. Then suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for over a minute.

Fearing that he'd hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the door to the freezer. The parrot calmly stepped out onto John's outstretched arms and said, "I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I'm sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior."

John was stunned at the change in the bird's attitude.

As he was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behavior, the bird spoke-up, very softly, "May I ask what the turkey did?"

Family Thanksgiving

One year at Thanksgiving my Mom went to my sister's house for the traditional feast. Knowing how gullible my sister is, my mom decided to play a trick. She told my sister that she needed something from the store. When my sister left, my mom took the turkey out of the oven, removed the stuffing, stuffed a Cornish game hen, and inserted it into the turkey and re-stuffed the turkey. She put it back in the oven.

When it was time for dinner my sister pulled the turkey out of the oven and proceeded to remove the stuffing. When her serving spoon hit something she reached in and pulled out the little bird.

With a look of total shock on her face, my mother exclaimed, "Patricia, you killed a pregnant bird!"

At the reality of this horrifying news my sister started to cry.

It took the whole family two hours to convince her that turkeys lay eggs.

Once Again ... You Write the Caption ...

Anger Management

Bank Robber

A hooded robber burst into a Texas bank and forced the tellers to load a sack full of cash. On his way out the door a brave Texas customer grabbed the hood and pulled it off revealing the robber’s face. Without hesitation the robber shot the customer and killed him.

He looked around the bank and noticed one of the tellers looking straight at him. The robber instantly shot him also.

Everyone else, by now very scared, looked intently down at the floor in silence.

The robber yelled, ‘Well, did anyone else see my face?’

There are a few moments of utter silence in which everyone was plainly afraid to speak.

Then, one old cowboy tentatively raised his hand and said, "My wife got a pretty good look at you."

Honesty in Advertising ...

There's nothing else to say ...

Bumper Sticker of the Day ...

In This World ...

There are too many Villians ...
And not enough Heros

Post Halloween Humor

(If you are blonde you may need some help with this one)