Ring In A New Year!

 

 This One Has to be Better Than the Last One!

You Da Man!

 

 

 

There Are Rules!

 

 

 

Same Rules

 

 

 

They Won't Know What To Do

 

STOP!

 

Just out for 2021

 

Gimme A Break

 

 

 

They're Everywhere

 

 

 

What Motivates Men #2

 

What Motivates Men #1

 

 

We'd like to thank the producers of www.motivateusnot.com

for their excellent humor

Think About It

 

 

 

Poor Santa

 

 

 

Three Women

 

 

 

How Do You Say...

 

 If you can’t think of a word, say, “I forgot the English word for it.”

That way, people will think you’re bilingual instead of an idiot. 

The Newlywed Understanding

 

A newlywed couple had only been married for two weeks. The husband, although very much in love, couldn't wait to go out on the town and party with his old buddies, so he said to his new wife, 'Honey, I'll be right back.” 
 
“Where are you going, coochy cooh?” asked the wife. 
 
“I'm going to the bar, pretty face. I'm going to have a beer.” 
 
The wife said, 'You want a beer, my love?' She opened the door to the refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of beer brands from ten different countries: Germany, Holland, Japan, India, etc. 
 
The husband didn't know what to do, and the only thing that he could think of saying was, “Yes, lollypop... but at the bar... you know... they have frozen glasses.” 
 
He didn't get to finish the sentence because the wife interrupted him by saying, “You want a frozen glass, puppy face?” 
 
She took a giant beer mug out of the freezer, so frozen that she was getting chills just holding it. 

The husband, looking a bit pale, said, “Yes, tootsie roll, but at the Bar, they have those hors d'oeuvres that are really delicious. I won't be long, and I'll be right back. I promise. OK?” 

“You want hors d'oeuvres, poochie pooh?” She opened the oven and took out five dishes of different hors d'oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in blankets, mushroom caps, pork strips, etc. 

“But my sweet honey. At the bar... You know... there's swearing, dirty words and all that.” 

“You want dirty words, Dickhead? Drink your fucking beer in your Goddamn frozen mug and eat your motherfucking snacks, because you are married now, and you aren't fucking going anywhere! Got it, Asshole?”


And… they lived happily ever after.

 

 

Two Requirements

 

 

 

Ran Out of Coffee

 

New Test From China

 

 

 

Sad News

 

 

 

But, Of Course...

 

 

 

They're So Clever

 

Just a Correction

 

My BFF

 

On a Scale of 1 to 12

 

Packed and Ready

 

Saint Joe

 

Holiday Mask!

 

 

Celebrate Christmas and Have Some Fun While Remaining Safe

 

 

 

Before Coffee...

 

Home Schooling Supplies

 

Not Unexpected

 

Let's Do It Right

 

 

 

Who's Confused?

 

 

 

Don We Now...

 

 

A Great Marketing Idea

 

 

 

We Apologize

 

 "Ladies and gentlemen,” announced the senior flight attendant on the Irish Airlines flight to New York, “I'm so very sorry, but it appears that there has been a terrible mix-up. One minute prior to take-off, our catering service delivered the meals for today’s flight. I don't know how this has happened, but we have 103 passengers on board and unfortunately, we received only 40 dinner meals. I truly apologize for this mistake and inconvenience.” 

When the passengers' muttering had died down, she continued, "Anyone who is kind enough to give up their meal so that someone else can eat will receive free, unlimited drinks for the duration of our 6-hour flight.”

Her next announcement came about 2 hours later.  "If anyone would like to change their minds, we still have 40 dinners available."

 

 

What To Do?

 

A woman was trying to think of a way to get a new home for her dog. She was moving and couldn’t take the dog with her. Her problem was that while she loved her pet, he was, to say the least, a most unattractive animal. After a lot of thought, she came up with a winning idea. 

Here is her ad:

Dog For Sale. Free to good home. Excellent guard dog. Owner cannot afford to feed Jethro anymore, as there are no more drug pushers, thieves, murderers or molesters left in Hood for him to eat. Most of them knew Jethro only by his Chinese street name, Ho Lee Schitt.

 

 

Getting Even

 

Sam had been with the company for 40 years. When he retired, they gave him a watch (not a Rolex… a Timex). Three weeks later, the main machine stopped running and nobody could figure out what the problem was, so they called Sam.

He came in the next day and walked around the machine. “Got a big hammer?” he asked. The new “tech” ran to get the biggest one he could find. Sam smacked a bolt on the left side of the machine and it started right up.

When the company got his bill, it was for $10,000 and the company president was furious. He called Sam, “You took ten minutes and you charged us ten thousand dollars? Nobody charges that much an hour!”

Sam replied, “Actually, I only charged you ten bucks for the labor, but it cost you $9,990 for me to figure out which bolt to smack.”

 

 

The Sky is Falling

 

You Might Want to Consider This

 

I'll Have Another

 

An Old Picture With A Moral

 

Helpful Road Signs

 

Adult Cartoons