The King's Weather Forecaster

The king wanted to go fishing, and he asked the royal weather forecaster the forecast for the next few hours.

The palace meteorologist assured him that there was no chance of rain.

So the king and the queen went fishing. On the way he met a man with a fishing pole riding on a donkey, and he asked the man if the fish were biting. 

The fisherman said, "Your Majesty, the fish were biting, but you should return to the palace!  In just a short time I expect a huge rain storm."

The king replied, "I hold the palace meteorologist in high regard. He is an educated and experienced professional. Besides, I pay him very high wages. He gave me a very different forecast. I trust him."

So the king continued on his way.

However, in a short time a torrential rain fell from the sky. The King and Queen were totally soaked.

Furious, the king returned to the palace and gave the order to fire the meteorologist.

Then he summoned the fisherman and offered him the prestigious position of royal forecaster.

The fisherman said, "Your Majesty, I do not know anything about forecasting. I obtain my information from my donkey. If I see my donkey's ears drooping, it means with certainty that it will rain."

So the king hired the donkey.

And so began the practice of hiring dumb asses to work in influential positions of government.

And thus the symbol of the democrat party was born.

The practice is unbroken to this day.

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A Sign for the Clueless

Baby It's Cold Outside

I just got off the phone with an old friend of mine who lives in Omaha.

He said that since early this morning the snow continued to fall and that it was nearly waist deep… and still coming down. He said the temperature was dropping and was already way below zero, not to mention that the north wind was increasing to near gale force.

He said that his wife had done nothing but look through the kitchen window and just stare.

Then he told me, “You know, if it gets much worse, I might have to let her in.”

Making the Sale

When the store manager returned from lunch, he was shocked to see that his clerk's hand was bandaged. Before having the chance to ask him what had happened, the clerk had some excellent news for him.
 
"Guess what?" the clerk said. "It finally happened. I sold that hideous suit we've had for so long."
 
"Are you referring to that repulsive orange and brown, double-breasted thing?" asked the manager.
 
"That's the one, sir," replied the clerk.
 
"That's great!" exclaimed the manager. "I was afraid we'd never get rid of that horrid monstrosity! That had to have been the ugliest suit we've ever had!  But, tell me, why is your hand bandaged?"
 
"Oh, that," the clerk replied. "Well, after I sold the guy the suit, his damned guide dog bit me!"

Feeling Like Abe

An older man wearing a stovepipe hat, a waistcoat and a phony beard sat down at a bar and ordered a drink. As the bartender set it down, he asked, "Going to a party?"
 
"Yeah," the man answered, "I'm supposed to come dressed as my love life."
 
"But you look like Abe Lincoln," protested the barkeep.
 
"That's right. My last four scores were seven years ago."

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