November 25, 2017
How to Treat a Blackeye
A black eye is a skull fracture, particularly if the area around both eyes is bruised (raccoon eyes) or if there has been a head injury...
For years, the conventional wisdom has been that the best treatment for a black eye is to cover it with a piece of raw meat.
Scientific studies have proven that while the raw meat helps reduce the swelling and aids in the healing process, applying cold meat actually delays the recovery of the broken blood vessels that cause the bruising around the orbital socket, while frozen meat may cause superficial thermal burns to the skin.
These same studies demonstrated that application of warm and tender meat is much more effective in helping the eyes recover from the damage because the bruising isn't compounded by thermal shock.
Therefore, the next time you get a black eye, try this method:
Administer treatment until pain and swelling are gone.
Caution: This method may cause swelling in other areas.
For most old guys the swelling will be minimal - therefore it is not expected that this method will be dangerous for you.
No need to thank me. I forward this in the interest of better health for Old Farts everywhere.
Getting the Family Together
Two women were talking on the phone as they were each in their own kitchen preparing for the family’s Thanksgiving dinner.
The first woman told the other that she loved having the family get together at Thanksgiving, but there seemed to always be a big argument over politics or religion. “I just hate it,” the first woman said. “Do you have those kinds of problems?”
“Not this year,” answered the second woman. “I have a plan to avoid the arguments. This year I’m stuffing the turkey with Prozac.”
November 24, 2017
November 13, 2017
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