We Are So Grateful

 

Happy Thanksgiving!

 

                              

Thanksgiving Humor

 

It's All About Thanksgiving

 

Yep... It's Me

 

We Are Grateful Lord

 

Some People Call It Turkey Day

 

Set Your Clock!

 

A Thanksgiving Story

 

Let's Do It Right

 

 

 

Thanksgiving Essentials

 

 

 

Getting the Family Together

Two women were talking on the phone as they were each in their own kitchen preparing for the family’s Thanksgiving dinner. 

The first woman told the other that she loved having the family get together at Thanksgiving, but there seemed to always be a big argument over politics or religion. “I just hate it,” the first woman said. “Do you have those kinds of problems?”

“Not this year,” answered the second woman. “I have a plan to avoid the arguments. This year I’m stuffing the turkey with Prozac.”

Holiday Special

Happy Thanksgiving

And now you know how Pumpkin Pie is really made ...







(Originally posted Thanksgiving 2009)

The Thanksgiving Parrot

A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary.

Every word out of the bird's mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity.

John tried and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of to 'clean up' the bird's vocabulary.

Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot.

The parrot yelled back.

John shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even more rude.

John, in desperation, threw up his hand, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer.

For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed. Then suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for over a minute.

Fearing that he'd hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the door to the freezer. The parrot calmly stepped out onto John's outstretched arms and said, "I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I'm sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior."

John was stunned at the change in the bird's attitude.

As he was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behavior, the bird spoke-up, very softly, "May I ask what the turkey did?"

Family Thanksgiving

One year at Thanksgiving my Mom went to my sister's house for the traditional feast. Knowing how gullible my sister is, my mom decided to play a trick. She told my sister that she needed something from the store. When my sister left, my mom took the turkey out of the oven, removed the stuffing, stuffed a Cornish game hen, and inserted it into the turkey and re-stuffed the turkey. She put it back in the oven.

When it was time for dinner my sister pulled the turkey out of the oven and proceeded to remove the stuffing. When her serving spoon hit something she reached in and pulled out the little bird.

With a look of total shock on her face, my mother exclaimed, "Patricia, you killed a pregnant bird!"

At the reality of this horrifying news my sister started to cry.

It took the whole family two hours to convince her that turkeys lay eggs.

Quoting Lillian

We stumbled across this quote from the mother of ex-President Jimmy Carter:

“Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself, Lillian …you should have remained a virgin." - Lillian Carter

Frozen Turkey

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but she was unable to find one big enough for her family.

She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"

The stock boy replied politely, "No, ma'am, they're as big as they're gonna get. They're dead."

Thanksgiving Cover-Up

Thanksgiving Poem

TWAS THE NIGHT OF THANKSGIVING,
BUT I JUST COULDN'T SLEEP
I TRIED COUNTING BACKWARDS,
I TRIED COUNTING SHEEP.

THE LEFTOVERS BECKONED -
THE DARK MEAT AND WHITE
BUT I FOUGHT THE TEMPTATION
WITH ALL OF MY MIGHT

TOSSING AND TURNING
WITH ANTICIPATION
THE THOUGHT OF A SNACK
BECAME INFATUATION.

SO, I RACED TO THE KITCHEN,
FLUNG OPEN THE DOOR
AND GAZED AT THE FRIDGE,
FULL OF GOODIES GALORE.

I GOBBLED UP TURKEY
AND BUTTERED POTATOES,
PICKLES AND CARROTS,
BEANS AND TOMATOES.

I FELT MYSELF SWELLING
SO PLUMP AND SO ROUND,
'TIL ALL OF A SUDDEN,
I ROSE OFF THE GROUND.

I CRASHED THROUGH THE CEILING,
FLOATING INTO THE SKY
WITH A MOUTHFUL OF PUDDING
AND A HANDFUL OF PIE.

BUT, I MANAGED TO YELL
AS I SOARED PAST THE TREES....
HAPPY EATING TO ALL -
PASS THE CRANBERRIES, PLEASE.

MAY YOUR STUFFING BE TASTY,
MAY YOUR TURKEY BE PLUMP.
MAY YOUR POTATOES 'N GRAVY HAVE NARY A LUMP,
MAY YOUR YAMS BE DELICIOUS,
MAY YOUR PIES TAKE THE PRIZE,
MAY YOUR THANKSGIVING DINNER STAY OFF OF YOUR THIGHS.