Cell Phone Etiquette

After a very busy day, a commuter settled down in her seat and closed her eyes as the train departed the Metrorail station.

As the train rolled out of the station, the guy sitting next to her pulled out his cell phone and started talking in a loud voice, "Hi sweetheart it's Eric, I'm on the train. Yes, I know it's the six thirty and not the four thirty but I had a long meeting. No, honey, I was not with that floozy from the accounting office. I was with the boss. No sweetheart, you're the only one in my life. Yes, I'm sure, cross my heart.”

Fifteen minutes later and three stops down the line, he was still talking loudly, when the young woman sitting next to him, who was obviously angered by his continuous diatribe, yelled at the top of her voice, "Damnit, Eric. Turn that stupid phone off and come back to bed!"

My guess would be that Eric doesn't use his cell phone in public any longer ... but that’s just a guess.

Just a Thoughtful Golfer

A golfer hits his ball into a yard next to the golf course.

As he goes to get it a man in the yard says, "Don't you see the sign? It says 'Private property - Stay Out!'"

The golfer says, "I'm sorry I did not see it. That is my ball there. May I have it, please?"

The man says, "It's in my yard and so it's my ball now."

The golfer looks at the man and says, "I understand."

He walks back to the golf cart, gets another golf ball, then walks back and throws it into the yard.

The homeowner says, "What is that for?"

The golfer replies, "I consider myself a gentleman, and I believe every prick should have two balls."


 

Be Prepared ...

Dear Optimist, Pessimist, and Realist:

 While you guys were busy arguing about the glass of water, I drank it.


Sincerely,

 The Opportunist