The French

Going to war without the French is like going hunting without an accordion.

The French are to warfare what the British are to cooking.

Q: Why do French naval ships have glass bottoms?
A: To see all their other ships.

Q: How many Frenchmen does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: One, Chirac. He stands still and Europe revolves around him.

Q: Why do the French call their fighter the "Mirage"?
A: Because it's never seen in a combat zone.

Q: What's the difference between a dead skunk and a dead Frenchman In the middle of the road?
A: There are skid marks in front of the skunk.

Q: What's the best place to hide your money?
A: Under a Frenchman's soap.

Q: How do you get a Frenchman out of a bath tub?
A: Throw in a bar of soap.

Q: What do you get if you see a Frenchman up to his neck in sand?
A: More sand.

Q: What do you call 100,000 Frenchmen with their hands up?
A: The Army.

Q: What did the Mayor of Paris say to the German Army as they entered?
A: Table for one hundred thousand, sir?

Q: What do French recruits learn in basic training?
A: How to surrender in 17 different languages.

Q: Why did the French start using garlic?
A: To improve their breath.