Who Wears the Pants ...

Matt was going to be married to Mikki, so his father sat him down for a little chat.  He said, “Matt, let me tell you something.  On my wedding night in our honeymoon suite, I took off my pants, handed them to your mother, and said, here - try these on.”

She did and said, “These are too big.  I can't wear them.”

“Exactly.  I wear the pants in this family and I always will.”

Ever since that night, we have never had any problems.

“That’s interesting,” thought Matt.  He thought that might be a good thing to try on his honeymoon.

So on the night of their wedding, Matt took off his pants and said to Mikki, “Here - try these on.”

She tried them on and said, “These are too large.  They don't fit me.”

Matt said, “Exactly.  I wear the pants in this family and I always will.  I don't want you to ever forget that.”

Then Mikki took off her panties and handed them to Matt. She said, “Here; you try these on.”

He held them up, looked at them and said, “I can't get into your panties.”

Mikki said, “Exactly.  And if you don't change your smart-ass attitude, you never will.”

Philosophy to remember ... Life isn't like a bowl of cherries or peaches.  It's more like a jar of Jalapenos.  What you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.