ADVICE FROM MEN TO WOMEN

~ Don't tell anyone we can't afford a new car. Tell them we don't want one.

~ Whenever possible please try to say whatever you have to say during commercials.

~ Only wearing your new lingerie once does not send the message that you need more. It tells us lingerie is a bad investment.

~ Never buy a “new” brand of beer because “it was on sale.” (This would apply to any and all adult beverages that I appreciate.)

~ What do you mean, 'leering?' She's obstructing my view!

~ When I ask, “How many guys have you slept with?” It would be much appreciated if you did not answer honestly.

~ When I'm turning the wheel and the car is nosing onto the off-ramp, saying “Oh, this is our exit, Honey,” is not really necessary.

~ The temperature in the cave will be my responsibility. During winter months, it will be slightly, to moderately cooler, than you want it.

~ SportsCenter starts at 10:00 P.M. and runs one hour. This is an excellent time for you to pay bills, put laundry in the dryer, or communicate with your Mother via SKYPE, telephone or Dixie Cup.

~ If we see you in the morning and at night, why call us at work?

~ You probably don't want to know what we're thinking about.

~ It's in neither your interest nor ours to take the Cosmo quiz together!