A black eye is a skull fracture, particularly if the area around both eyes is bruised (raccoon eyes) or if there has been a head injury...
For years, the conventional wisdom has been that the best treatment for a black eye is to cover it with a piece of raw meat.
Scientific studies have proven that while the raw meat helps reduce the swelling and aids in the healing process, applying cold meat actually delays the recovery of the broken blood vessels that cause the bruising around the orbital socket, while frozen meat may cause superficial thermal burns to the skin.
These same studies demonstrated that application of warm and tender meat is much more effective in helping the eyes recover from the damage because the bruising isn't compounded by thermal shock.
Therefore, the next time you get a black eye, try this method:
Administer treatment until pain and swelling are gone.
Caution: This method may cause swelling in other areas.
For most old guys the swelling will be minimal - therefore it is not expected that this method will be dangerous for you.
No need to thank me. I forward this in the interest of better health for Old Farts everywhere.
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