Are you tired of all those sissy "Friendship" poems that always sound good, but never actually come close to reality? Well, here is a series of promises that really speaks to true friendship …
When you are sad –
I will help get you drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you sad.
When you are blue –
I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.
When you smile –
I will know you finally got laid.
When you are scared –
I will rag on you about it every chance I get.
When you are confused –
I will use little words.
When you are sick –
Stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don't want whatever you have.
When you fall –
I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.
And Finally ……
A good friend will help you move.
A really good friend will help you move a body.
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