May 03, 2008

New Friendship Poems

Are you tired of all those sissy "Friendship" poems that always sound good, but never actually come close to reality? Well, here is a series of promises that really speaks to true friendship …

When you are sad
I will help get you drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you sad.

When you are blue
I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

When you smile
I will know you finally got laid.

When you are scared
I will rag on you about it every chance I get.

When you are confused
I will use little words.

When you are sick
Stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don't want whatever you have.

When you fall
I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.

And Finally ……

A good friend will help you move.
A really good friend will help you move a body.

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