Rodney Dangerfield

Rodney Dangerfield passed away in 2004. He was the king of “I get no respect.”
Here are just a few of his classics ……

"My wife said we were having a baby. I said if it comes out looking like you, it will be beautiful. She said if it comes out looking like you, it will be a miracle."

Once I saw a man jogging naked in my neighborhood, I asked him why he was running down my street naked and he said, "Because you came home early!"

It's been a rough day. I got up this morning ... put a shirt on and a button fell off. I picked up my briefcase, and the handle came off. I'm afraid to go to the bathroom.

Last night my wife met me at the front door. She was wearing a sexy negligee. The only trouble was, she was coming home.

During sex my wife always wants to talk to me. Just the other night she called me from a hotel.

With my dog I don't get no respect. He keeps barking at the front door. He don't want to go out. He wants me to leave.