Gather 'round the Christmas Tree

A family is at the dinner table. The son asks his father, “Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?”

The father, surprised, answers, “Well, son, there are three kinds of boobs: In her 20's, a woman's are like melons, round and firm. In her 30's to 40's, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit. After 60, they are like onions.”

“Onions?” asks the son.

'”Yes, you see them and they make you cry,” says the father with a bit of a smirk.

This infuriated his wife and daughter so the daughter said, “Mum, how many kinds of 'willies' are there?”

The mother, surprised, smiles and answers, “Well dear, a man goes through three phases. In his 20's, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his 30's and 40's, it is like a birch, flexible but reliable. After his 60's, it is like a Christmas Tree.”

“A Christmas tree?” squeaks the daughter.

“Yes … the tree is dead and the balls are just for decoration!”