From a Senior's point of view:
1. I'm not saying let's go kill all the stupid
people. I'm just saying we remove all the warning labels and the problem
will work itself out.
2. I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds. People move
out of the way much faster now.
3. You can tell a lot about a woman's mood just by her
hands. If they are holding a gun, she's probably pissed.
4. Gone are the days when girls cooked like their
mothers. Now they drink like their fathers.
5. You know that tingly little feeling you get when you
really like someone you've just met? That's common sense leaving your
body.
6. I don't like making plans for the day. Because
then the word "premeditated" gets thrown around in the courtroom.
7. I didn't make it to the gym today. That makes 1,495
days in a row.
8. I decided to change the name for the bathroom from
"the John" and renamed it "the Jim." I feel so much
better saying I went to the Jim this morning.
9. Dear paranoid people who check behind shower curtains
for murderers. If you find one, what's your plan?
10. Everyone has a right to be stupid. Some just abuse
the privilege.
No comments:
Post a Comment