Advertising For Seniors

These are actual ads seen in ''The Villages'' Florida newspaper.

FOXY LADY:
Sexy, fashion-conscious voluptuous blue-haired beauty, 80's, slim, 5'4' (used to be 5'6'), searching for sharp-looking, sharp-dressing companion. Matching white shoes and belt a plus.

LONG-TERM COMMITMENT:

Recent widow who has just buried fourth husband,
Looking for someone to round out a six-unit plot.

Dizziness, Fainting, shortness of breath, not a problem.

SERENITY NOW:

I am into solitude, long walks, sunrises, the ocean, yoga and
Meditation. If you are the silent type, let's get together, take our hearing aids out and enjoy quiet times.

WINNING SMILE:

Active grandmother with original teeth seeking a dedicated flosser to share rare steaks, corn on the cob and caramel candy.

BEATLES OR STONES?

I still like to rock, still want to cruise in my Camaro on Saturday nights, and always enjoy playing the guitar.
If you were a groovy chick, or are now a groovy hen, let's get together and listen to my eight-track tapes.

MEMORIES:

I can usually remember Monday through Thursday.
If you can remember Friday, Saturday and Sunday, let's put our two heads together.

MINT CONDITION:

Male, 1932 model, high mileage, good condition, some hair.
Many new parts including hip, knee, cornea, valves.
Isn't in running condition, but walks well.