Cheap Bastards

A man and his wife were celebrating 50 years together. Their three
kids, all very successful, agreed to a Sunday dinner in their honor.

"Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad," gushed son number one. "Sorry
I'm running late. I had an emergency at the hospital with a patient,
you know how it is, and didn't have time to get you a gift."

"Not to worry," said the father. "The important thing is that we're
all together today."

Son number two arrived and announced, "You and Mom look great,
Dad. I just flew in from Los Angeles between depositions and didn't
have time to shop for you."

"It's nothing," said the father, "We're glad you were able to come."

Then the daughter arrived, "Hello and happy anniversary! I'm sorry,
but my boss is sending me out of town and I was really busy packing
so I didn't have time to get you anything."

After they had finished dessert, the father said, "There's something
your mother and I have wanted to tell you for a long time. You see, we
were very poor. Despite this, we were able to send each of you to
college. Throughout the years your mother and I knew that we loved
each other very much, but we just never found the time to get
married."

The three children gasped and all said, "You mean we're bastards?"

Yep," said the father. "And cheap ones too."