Advice to Women . . . . .

If you want someone willing to make a fool of himself simply over the joy of
seeing you. . . . . buy a dog.

If you want someone who will eat whatever you put in front of him and never
says its not quite as good as his mother made it . . . . . buy a dog.

If you want someone always willing to go out, at any hour, for as long and
wherever you want . . . . . . buy a dog.

If you want someone to scare away burglars, without a lethal weapon which
terrifies you and endangers the lives of your family and all the neighbors
. . . buy a dog.

If you want someone who will never touch the remote, doesn't care about
football, and can sit next to you as you watch romantic movies . . . . . buy
a dog.

If you want someone who is content to get up on your bed just to warm your
feet and whom you can push off if he snores . . . . . . . buy a dog.

If you want someone who never criticizes what you do, doesn't care if you
are pretty or ugly, fat or thin, young or old, with or without boobs, who
acts as if every word you say is especially worthy of listening to, and
loves you unconditionally, perpetually .. . . . . . . buy a dog.

But on the other hand If you want someone who will never come when you
call, ignores you totally when you come home, leaves hair all over the place,
walks all over you, runs around all night, only comes home to eat and sleep,
and acts as if your entire existence is solely to ensure his happiness . . . . .
Then my friend . . . . . . . Buy a cat


(NOTE: Any resemblance to a man is purely coincidental)