Mrs. Cohen and Mrs. Murphy

Came the sad day when Mrs. Cohen and Mrs. Murphy, life-long friends who had lived in the same building for fifty years, had to go to their respective Jewish and Catholic nursing homes.

After a couple of weeks, Mrs. Cohen called Mrs. Murphy and said, I really miss you, but I have a new boyfriend.

Oh, that’s wonderful, said Mrs. Murphy. “What do you do together?”

Mrs. Cohen said, “Well, after lunch, he comes back with me to my room. We kiss a little, then he touches me on top, then he touches me below, and then we sing Yiddish songs.

“Lovely!” said Mrs. Murphy. “I met someone too. We've been keeping company.”

“Oh, really,” asked Mrs. Cohen. “And what do you two do together?”

“Well,” said Mrs. Murphy, “after lunch, he, too, comes back with me to my room. We kiss a little, then he touches me on top, then he touches me below, but we don't know any Yiddish songs, so we just screw.”