Bert and Wilma

"Bert says he'd rather kiss his wife than eat."

"I've tasted her cooking, I don't blame him. Wilma's the only person I know who times her meals with a smoke detector."

**

"Bert wake up!" screams Wilma. "I hear a rat eating last nights dinner scraps."

"Go back to sleep Wilma, I'll bury it in the morning."

**

"Wilma has gotten tired of planning meals," comments Bert. "Now she just kicks the shelves at the supermarket. Whatever falls off, she takes."

**

"Good grief!" bellowed Bert to his wife. "Don't tell me we're having spaghetti again tonight!"

"You liked it all right on Monday, and Tuesday," depended Wilma, "and it was good enough on Wednesday, and Thursday. Now all of a sudden, on Friday you tell me you don't want spaghetti!"