Redneck Medical Terms

Benign- What you be after you be eight
Artery- The study of paintings
Bacteria- Back door to cafeteria
Barium- What doctors do when patients die
Cesarean Section- A neighborhood in Rome
Catscan- Searching for Kitty
Cauterize- Made eye contact with her
Colic- A sheep dog
Coma- A punctuation mark
D&C- Where Washington is
Dilate- To live long
Enema- Not a friend
Fester- Quicker than someone else
Fibula- A small lie
Genital- Non-Jewish person
G.I.- Series World Series of military baseball
Hangnail -What you hang your coat on
Impotent- Distinguished, well known
Labor pain- Getting hurt at work
Medical Staff- A Doctor's cane
Morbid- A higher offer that I bid
Nitrates- Cheaper than day rates
Node- I knew it
Outpatient- A person who has fainted
Pap Smear- A fatherhood test
Pelvis- Second cousin to Elvis
Post Operative- A letter carrier
Recovery Room- Place to do upholstery
Rectum- Damn near killed him
Secretion- Hiding something
Seizure- Roman Emperor
Tablet- A small table
Terminal Illness- Getting sick at the airport
Tumor- More than one
Urine- Opposite of you're out
Varicose- Near by/close by