An older woman was wandering around the aisles of a supermarket calling out, "Crisco, Crisco!"
Soon a store clerk approached and said, "Madam, the Crisco is in aisle 4."
The lady replied, "Oh, I'm not looking for the cooking stuff. I'm calling my husband."
"Your husband's name is Crisco?" asked the clerk.
The woman explained, "Oh, no, no. I only call him that when we're out in public."
"Well, what do you call him when you are at home?" asked the clerk.
"Lard ass!"
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