A doctor had the reputation of helping couples increase the joy in their sex life, but always promised not to take a case if he felt he could not help them.
Mr and Mrs Jones came to see the doctor, and he gave them thorough physical exams, psychological exams, and various tests and then concluded, "Yes, I am happy to say that I believe I can help you. On your way home from my office stop at the grocery store and buy some grapes and some doughnuts."
To Mr. Jones he said, “Go home, take off your clothes, and you, sir, roll the grapes across the floor until you make a bulls eye in your wife's love canal. Then on hands and knees you must crawl to her like a leopard and retrieve the grape using only your tongue.”
To Mrs. Jones he said, "Then next, ma'am, you must take the doughnuts and from across the room, toss them at your husband until you make a ringer around his love pole. Then like a lioness, you must crawl to him and consume the doughnut."
The couple went home and their sex life became more and more wonderful.
They told their friends, Mr and Mrs Smith that they should see the good doctor.
The doctor greeted the Smiths and said he would not take the case unless he felt that he could help them; so he conducted the physical exams and the same battery of tests. Afterwards he told the Smiths the bad news, "I cannot help you, so I will not take your money. I believe your sex life is as good as it will ever be. I cannot help."
The Smiths pleaded with him and said, "You helped our friends the Jones, now please, please help us."
"Well, all right," the doctor said. "On your way home from the office, stop at the grocery store and buy some apples and a box of Cheerios..."
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