* Eagles may soar, but weasels aren't sucked into jet engines.
* Borrow money from pessimists-they don't expect it back.
* Beware of geeks bearing gifs.
* Half the people you know are below average.
* 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
* 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
* A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
And finally....
* If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you..
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