Political Quotes

The following are actual quotes from actual Texas politicians:

1. "It just makes good sense to put all your eggs in one basket." --Texas Rep. Joe Salem speaking on an amendment requiring all revenues to go into the state treasury

2. "Lemme give ya' a hypothetic." --Texas Rep. Renal Rosson

3. "Ain't nothin' in the middle of the road but yellow stripes and dead armadillos." --Texas Agriculture Commissioner Jim Hightower

4. "And now, will y'all stand and be recognized?" --Texas House Speaker Gib Lewis to a group of handicapped people in wheelchairs

5. "Dallas salutes a person who can buy a piece of art, but not a person who can create one." --A.C. Greene

6. "No thanks, once was enough." --Texas Governor Bill Clements, asked if he had been born again

7. "Oh good. Now he'll be bi-ignorant." --Texas Agriculture Commissioner Jim Hightower when told that Texas Governor Bill Clements had been studying Spanish

8. "I'd just make a little bit of money, I wouldn't make a whole lot." --Texas House Speaker Gib Lewis defending himself against the charge that he would personally profit from a bill he had introduced.

9. "Well, there never was a Bible in the room." --Texas Governor Bill Clements, asked about repeatedly lying about the SMU football scandal.

10. "I am filled with humidity." --Texas House Speaker Gib Lewis

11. "If ignorance ever goes to $40 a barrel, I want drillin' rights on that man's head." --Texas Agriculture Commissioner Jim Hightower discussing President George Bush's policies

12. "If it's dangerous to talk to yourself, it's probably even dicier to listen" --Texas Agriculture Commissioner Jim Hightower>

13. "I move we recess to go outside and throw up." --Texas House Speaker Gib Lewis during a budget hearing

14. "This is a real competitive business." --A gas station owner, when asked to explain the rapid rise in gasoline prices when Kuwait was invaded

15. "...idiots, imbeciles, aliens, the insane and women..." --Law standing in Texas until 1918 regulating who could not vote

16. "It's the sediment of the House that we adjourn." --Texas House Speaker Wayne Clayton

17. "Let's do this in one foul sweep." --Texas House Speaker Wayne Clayton

18. "This is unparalyzed in the state's history." --Texas House Speaker Gib Lewis

19. "I want to thank each and every one of you for having extinguished yourselves this session." --Texas House Speaker Gib Lewis

20. "We'll run it up the flagpole and see who salutes that booger." --Texas House Speaker Gib Lewis

21. "There's a lot of uncertainty that's not clear in my mind." --Texas House Speaker Gib Lewis

22. "I can explain it for you, but I can't understand it for you." --Anon.

23. "There are still places where people think that the function of the media is to provide information." --Don Rottenberg