Fornigate
What does Monica Lewinsky have on her resume?
Sat on the Presidential Staff
What is the difference between George Washington, Richard Nixon, and Bill Clinton?
Washington couldn't tell a lie, Nixon couldn't tell the truth, and Clinton doesn't know the difference
What is the difference between Bill Clinton and the Titanic?
Only 1500 people went down on the Titanic.
What did Clinton say to Al Gore about the whole affair?
Pardon me.
Why does Clinton invite so may women into the oval office?
To show them the executive branch.
Why does Hillary wear the pants in the White House?
Because Bill can't keep his on!
Most people are concerned about AIDS when having sex...
Bill Clinton is concerned about aides who will have sex.
Why does Bill Clinton wish he was like Ted Kennedy?
Because Kennedy has an ex-wife and a dead girlfriend
Has the president changed his official title?
Yes, from Commander in Chief to Semen First Class
What did Monica get Bill For Christmas?
An erector set
What's the moral of tailgate?
Never date a girl who isn't willing to swallow the evidence
What's the second moral?
It's not what you know but who you blow
How can you tell which one of the White House interns is the head intern?
It's the one with the dirty knees
There's a new game being played in Washington...
It's called swallow the leader
What do Al Gore and Jerry Ford have in common?
They both got promoted because of crooked dicks
If Clinton survives the scandal, he will appear on a new US coin...
The words "In God we Trust" will be replaced with "oral sex doesn't count"
Why does Bill's limousine have a sunroof?
More leg room
What does Bill say to Hillary after sex?
I'll be home in 20 minutes
Why does Bill Clinton wear underwear?
To keep his ankles warm
What did Monica Lewinsky say when offered a position at the UN?
Would that be a missionary position?
President Clinton, what do you want to do about this abortion bill?
Pay it
How did Bill Clinton reply regarding questions of "coaching" Monica's testimony?
"It wasn't words I put into her mouth"
What is Clinton's new secret service code name?
The Unabanger
What do Bill and Ross Perot have in common?
They both heard a giant sucking sound
What do Kennedy, Bono and Chris Farley have in common?
White Powder and Smack!
What did Arafat say to Clinton?
"Sheep don't talk, my friend."
What's the definition of an Arkansas virgin?
Any woman who can run faster than the governor.
What's the similarity between Bill Clinton and a carpenter?
One screw in the wrong place and the whole cabinet falls apart.
Hillary Clinton's new name:
Cleopatra - queen of denial
What do Monica Lewinsky and soda machines have in common?
They both have slots which say "Insert Bill" here."
What help wanted ad did Monica Lewinsky answer?
Be a White House intern, and get a taste of the Presidency!
Did you hear that when this scandal is over that Monica plans to sell her story?
She said she will tell it Blow by Blow.
What's Monica going to title her memoirs?
How to suckseed in the Oval Office without really trying!"
Why can't they prosecute Bill Clinton?
Monica swallowed the evidence
Why does Monica Lewinsky have such puffy cheeks?
She's withholding evidence.
What's the difference between Clinton and a screw driver?
A screw driver turns in screws and Clinton screws interns.
Why does Monica refuse to play golf with Bill?
Because she's tired of his balls hitting her in the face.
Bill was recently overheard complimenting Monica's appearance.
"She's got the whitest teeth I've ever cum across!"
Bill's nickname for Hillary is, "My little buttercup"
His nickname for Monica? "My little suctioncup"
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