Quotes 31 - 40

• With every passing hour our solar system comes forty-three thousand miles closer to globular cluster M13 in the constellation Hercules, and still there are some misfits who continue to insist that there is no such thing as progress. --Ransom K Ferm
• Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have had years and years of training can, using only their hands and feet, make some of the worst movies in the history of the world. --Dave Berry
• "If you ever see me getting beaten by the police, put down the video camera and come help me." --Bobcat Goldthwait
• I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers. --A Bit of Fry and Laurie
• "I voted for the Democrats because I didn't like the way the Republicans were running the country. Which is turning out to be like shooting yourself in the head to stop your headache." --Jack Mayberry
• "I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three." --Elayne Boosler
• "Ever wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?" --John Mendoza
• Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?
  Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever." ---- Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest
• "Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that but not with all those flies and death and stuff."
  -- Mariah Carey
• "Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two, but can't remember what they are." -- Matt Lauer on NBC's Today show, August 22