One Liners 161-170

• The more an item costs, the farther you have to send it for repairs.
• You never want the one you can afford.
• Never ask the barber if you need a haircut or a salesman if his is a good price.
• If it says "one size fits all," it doesn't fit anyone.
• You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
• Love letters, business contracts and money due you always arrive three weeks late, whereas junk mail arrives the day it was sent.
• When you drop change at a vending machine, the pennies will fall nearby, while all other coins will roll out of sight.
• Life can be only understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards.
• A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
• For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.